Godkimstrag Naktongof Kamnadbus is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, effective octopus.

Godkimstrag Naktongof Kamnadbus created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Godkimstrag Naktongof Kamnadbus, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Godkimstrag Naktongof Kamnadbus, she will boil you in a big pot.

Godkimstrag Naktongof Kamnadbus' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Godkimstrag Naktongof Kamnadbus' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never hurt cats.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.