Podyarlgat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional dolphin.

Podyarlgat created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Podyarlgat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Podyarlgat, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Podyarlgat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Podyarlgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never wear fawn stockings.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Put Podyarlgat first in all things.