Loglunflatgess is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, slow bear.

Loglunflatgess created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Loglunflatgess, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Loglunflatgess, it will curse you with boils.

Loglunflatgess' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Loglunflatgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not take Loglunflatgess' name in vain.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.