Bam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witless hyena.

Bam created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bam, he will strike you with lightening.

Bam's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Bam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Hide if six sharks approach from the west.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always obey Bam's priests.