Quatdagbapnilpigken is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish aardvark.

Quatdagbapnilpigken created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatdagbapnilpigken, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quatdagbapnilpigken, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quatdagbapnilpigken's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Quatdagbapnilpigken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Worship no other gods but Quatdagbapnilpigken.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Mice are not to be trusted.