Parkpasflan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish chinchilla.

Parkpasflan created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkpasflan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Parkpasflan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Parkpasflan's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Parkpasflan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Parkpasflan.

2. Always help sick voles.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.