Vadwanbug is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful human.

Vadwanbug created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadwanbug, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vadwanbug, she will throw large rocks at you.

Vadwanbug's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vadwanbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill birds.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Retreat if four hamsters approach from the north.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.