Kemladtaphakkombanboss is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, almighty hydra.

Kemladtaphakkombanboss created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemladtaphakkombanboss, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kemladtaphakkombanboss, she will turn you into a hamster.

Kemladtaphakkombanboss' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Kemladtaphakkombanboss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Kemladtaphakkombanboss on top of all buildings.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. You must love Kemladtaphakkombanboss.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.