Bunmobartflan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable lizard.

Bunmobartflan created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunmobartflan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bunmobartflan, he will turn you into a goat.

Bunmobartflan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bunmobartflan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bunmobartflan.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bunmobartflan.

4. You must pray to Bunmobartflan nine times a day.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.