Ragpangyim is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, weak squid.

Ragpangyim created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ragpangyim, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ragpangyim, he will destroy your home solar system.

Ragpangyim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Ragpangyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. You must never eat nuts.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.