Dabtarcar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain hippopotamus.

Dabtarcar created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabtarcar, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dabtarcar, he will throw large rocks at you.

Dabtarcar's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dabtarcar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.