Gilgadquam is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, happy raccoon.

Gilgadquam created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilgadquam, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gilgadquam, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gilgadquam's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gilgadquam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Never skip in the presence of ducks.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Never look at galaxies.