Fumhugpib is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, self-confident hare.

Fumhugpib created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumhugpib, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fumhugpib, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fumhugpib's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fumhugpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Fumhugpib loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.