Baplag is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless meerkat.

Baplag created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Baplag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Baplag, it will be very sad.

Baplag's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Baplag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Baplag.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Baplag.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never paint your legs violet.