Wotnuryar is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic butterfly.

Wotnuryar created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotnuryar, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wotnuryar, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wotnuryar's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Wotnuryar's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never feed bananas to ducks while wearing violet rings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Retreat if seven aardvarks approach from the south.