Zedjonfas is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-assured goat.

Zedjonfas created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedjonfas, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zedjonfas, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Zedjonfas' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zedjonfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Zedjonfas.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect three nickel sculptures of Zedjonfas on top of important buildings.