Rutwatarm Saghatbin is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, ruthless badger.

Rutwatarm Saghatbin created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutwatarm Saghatbin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rutwatarm Saghatbin, he will turn you into a mole.

Rutwatarm Saghatbin's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Rutwatarm Saghatbin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rutwatarm Saghatbin.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Retreat if four frogs approach from the south.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.