Laggamlab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced centaur.

Laggamlab created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laggamlab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Laggamlab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Laggamlab's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Laggamlab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Laggamlab on top of all buildings.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.