Xuckominmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy narwhal.

Xuckominmeg created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckominmeg, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xuckominmeg, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Xuckominmeg's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Xuckominmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Retreat if nine bats approach from the south.