Witlegwik is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring weasel.

Witlegwik created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witlegwik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Witlegwik, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Witlegwik's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Witlegwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Do not shave your face.