Spagarfwik is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, pitiless snake.

Spagarfwik created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagarfwik, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Spagarfwik, it will turn you into a worm.

Spagarfwik's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Spagarfwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Spagarfwik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always look after injured swans.

5. Moths are not to be trusted.