Lopmaptarp Gonmigort Kablinsig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, pitiless coyote.

Lopmaptarp Gonmigort Kablinsig created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopmaptarp Gonmigort Kablinsig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lopmaptarp Gonmigort Kablinsig, he will strike you with lightening.

Lopmaptarp Gonmigort Kablinsig's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Lopmaptarp Gonmigort Kablinsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about great tits.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.