Bumcarbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, quiet bat.

Bumcarbonk created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumcarbonk, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bumcarbonk, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bumcarbonk's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bumcarbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four seals approach from the south.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about asteroids.