Nigjanzimyar is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, almighty squid.

Nigjanzimyar created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nigjanzimyar, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nigjanzimyar, it will not care.

Nigjanzimyar's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nigjanzimyar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nigjanzimyar on top of all buildings.

2. Put Nigjanzimyar first in all things.

3. Nigjanzimyar loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not listen to music.