Futlikpas is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, smart ant.

Futlikpas created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Futlikpas, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Futlikpas, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Futlikpas' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Futlikpas' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Futlikpas.

2. Never bounce in the presence of badgers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.