Vadjapqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful tapir.

Vadjapqueeg created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadjapqueeg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vadjapqueeg, he will refuse to believe in you.

Vadjapqueeg's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vadjapqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Do not eat coconuts.

3. Hide from turquoise rats for they are unholy.

4. Erect four copper sculptures of Vadjapqueeg on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.