Vigvonsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing owl.

Vigvonsaf created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vigvonsaf, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vigvonsaf, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vigvonsaf's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Vigvonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Never paint your back gray.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Never eat spinach.