Legbastlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, loving tortoise.

Legbastlarn created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Legbastlarn, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Legbastlarn, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Legbastlarn's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Legbastlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.