Gofhamjenveg is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, astonishing jaguar.

Gofhamjenveg created the Sunflower Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Gofhamjenveg, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofhamjenveg, she will turn you into a goat.

Gofhamjenveg's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gofhamjenveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never write about gravity.