Zigsassog is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, astonishing spider.

Zigsassog created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigsassog, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zigsassog, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zigsassog's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Zigsassog's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Run away if four badgers approach from the west.

3. Zigsassog loves rats, so they must be respected.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.