Labflabfen Lin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful tortoise.

Labflabfen Lin created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labflabfen Lin, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Labflabfen Lin, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Labflabfen Lin's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Labflabfen Lin's Holy Commandments

1. Labflabfen Lin loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.