Fubbinmit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful elephant.

Fubbinmit created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubbinmit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fubbinmit, he will ignore you.

Fubbinmit's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fubbinmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Do not shave your legs.