Fomcadfem is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, prudent gorilla.

Fomcadfem created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomcadfem, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fomcadfem, he will be very sad.

Fomcadfem's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Fomcadfem's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Worship no other gods but Fomcadfem.

3. Never wear black dresses.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Do not kill hamsters.