Hamhugzog is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, generous dove.

Hamhugzog created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hamhugzog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hamhugzog, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hamhugzog's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hamhugzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Do not take Hamhugzog's name in vain.

5. Hamhugzog must be the most important thing in your life.