Kimvilcen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unselfish skunk.

Kimvilcen created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimvilcen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kimvilcen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Kimvilcen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Kimvilcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Never paint your back orange.

3. Run away if nine sharks approach from the north.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.