Figgebgemfotdogtail is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, dishonest donkey.

Figgebgemfotdogtail created a Higgs boson five million years ago.

If you believe in Figgebgemfotdogtail, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Figgebgemfotdogtail, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Figgebgemfotdogtail's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Figgebgemfotdogtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.