Hapcubragnil is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, conceited turtle.

Hapcubragnil created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapcubragnil, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hapcubragnil, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hapcubragnil's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Hapcubragnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Worship no other gods but Hapcubragnil.

4. Hapcubragnil loves geese, so they must be respected.

5. Never hurt swans.