Fenpadjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical owl.

Fenpadjarn created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenpadjarn, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fenpadjarn, it will be very sad.

Fenpadjarn's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fenpadjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Fenpadjarn must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Fenpadjarn loves ducks, so they must be respected.