Padzenjip is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless raven.

Padzenjip created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Padzenjip, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Padzenjip, she will turn you into a mole.

Padzenjip's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Padzenjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about beans.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.