Barngofbast is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, humorless camel.

Barngofbast created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Barngofbast, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Barngofbast, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Barngofbast's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Barngofbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to dogs while wearing turquoise kilts.

2. Never hurt rats.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Barngofbast must be the most important thing in your life.