Madwatlig is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy ant.

Madwatlig created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Madwatlig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Madwatlig, it will refuse to believe in you.

Madwatlig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Madwatlig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Retreat if three porpoises approach from the north.