Flantanflow is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic dugong.

Flantanflow created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flantanflow, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flantanflow, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flantanflow's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Flantanflow's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not eat corn.