Joppagbeg is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, calm tapir.

Joppagbeg created the Sol system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Joppagbeg, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Joppagbeg, she will turn you into a duck.

Joppagbeg's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Joppagbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Joppagbeg on top of all buildings.

3. Always look after injured manatees.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never feed nuts to monkeys while wearing mauve hats.