Vanbigxenmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, witty pigeon.

Vanbigxenmeg created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanbigxenmeg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vanbigxenmeg, it will turn you into a rat.

Vanbigxenmeg's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vanbigxenmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must never eat onions.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.