Hubbintal is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, quiet snail.

Hubbintal created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Hubbintal, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hubbintal, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hubbintal's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hubbintal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Hubbintal loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.