Jamarmcebsugvilkim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful lizard.

Jamarmcebsugvilkim created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamarmcebsugvilkim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jamarmcebsugvilkim, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jamarmcebsugvilkim's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Jamarmcebsugvilkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jamarmcebsugvilkim.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

4. Never run in the presence of frogs.

5. Respect your elders.