Kimbastbin Geptafcamtabyognur is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, intelligent shark.

Kimbastbin Geptafcamtabyognur created viruses two years ago.

If you believe in Kimbastbin Geptafcamtabyognur, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kimbastbin Geptafcamtabyognur, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kimbastbin Geptafcamtabyognur's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kimbastbin Geptafcamtabyognur's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kimbastbin Geptafcamtabyognur four times a day.

2. Never feed lentils to shrews while wearing pink corsets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not commit murder.