Fumtapsug Tongenhon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, clever raven.

Fumtapsug Tongenhon created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumtapsug Tongenhon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fumtapsug Tongenhon, it will make you grow a tail.

Fumtapsug Tongenhon's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fumtapsug Tongenhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the north.

4. Always help otters.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.