Appgatsin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, passionate slug.

Appgatsin created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appgatsin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Appgatsin, he will be mildly annoyed.

Appgatsin's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Appgatsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always help pigs.

3. Never feed figs to hamsters while wearing indigo ear rings.

4. Always obey Appgatsin's priests.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.