Cepnillrat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, wise alligator.

Cepnillrat created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepnillrat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cepnillrat, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cepnillrat's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Cepnillrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Put Cepnillrat first in all things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.